Portkeys

[alt_selwyn]

For your safety and security, all portkeys will need to be turned in for inspection. If you are presently at the Faire, a new one will promptly be issued -- or, if you can take the floo home or apparate, the Department of Magical Transportation will be offering a voucher good for Γ3 of the food or drink of your choice as an apology for the inconvenience.

In the meantime, please keep all portkeys out of the hands of your younger children. The only people carrying portkeys should also be carrying wands. There may be some further announcements tomorrow; if you are currently at home, please do not attempt to use your portkeys (even Ministry-issued portkeys) to travel.

Thank you for your prompt attention.

Comments

Private message to Moira O'Connor

[alt_selwyn]

Whether this was the result of incompetence or disloyalty on your part will likely be determined by MLE, but let me assure you that I will personally exact retribution for any injuries that result from this mess from your skin even if I have to visit you in Azkaban to flay you while you're held by Dementors.

Private message to Solana James

[alt_selwyn]

I gather you're the one tasked with the scramble to replace the malfunctioning portkeys. Thanks so much for dropping everything to do this; I don't blame you, of course. It was Director O'Connor's responsibility to see to this -- or at least to communicate with the rest of you.

Let me assure you that outstanding performance under such extreme circumstances will be remembered, and rewarded. I know it's rather a lot to ask, but it has struck me that this disaster may be an excellent opportunity to take steps to reel in the many unregistered portkeys in circulation. Please ensure that your staff registers the new ones as they're handed out, and rather than fixing the current problem so that every existing portkey directs to its original destination, I'm thinking we may simply want to direct them all to a single, safe location. For now, just focus on making the new (registered) ones, please.

Re: Private message to Solana James

[alt_selwyn]

All right, then. I've discussed with MLE.

We'd like all the old portkeys to redirect to a single location -- it's a secure one within MLE. This provides a number of advantages, including guaranteeing the safety of any misplaced children. (I have to say, the most nervewracking thing about this whole problem is that portkeys are one of the preferred ways to transport small children.) At any rate, I'll get you the precise coordinates in a bit.

So -- all old portkeys to MLE, all new portkeys to be registered. As poor as this timing was, I think this will actually be a significant improvement to the system in the end.

Private message to Barty Crouch, Jr and Lucius Malfoy

[alt_selwyn]

Barty -- as Lucius already knows, apparently portkey coordinates all got hopelessly scrambled by the work Tosha did last week. (I told that miserable woman personally what needed to be done; I don't know whether she's lazy, incompetent, or quietly disloyal. She is, in fact, an O'Connor -- though not closely related to Kathleen. Nonetheless. Irish.)

It's being handled. But. I had an idea. We've discussed a few times the problem of unregistered portkeys -- there are quite a few, they're a security risk, etc. Apparently it would be quite a lot easier to redirect all existing portkeys to a single location than to properly fix them. What do you say to the idea of directing them all to some secure location at MLE's HQ?

Naturally, new (registered!) portkeys would be issued for all legitimate purposes.

This would be more than a little inconvenient for you; it would flood your net with plankton, I think, for the most part. You'd have to sort through them all. Still -- thoughts? We could also just direct everyone to some safe and neutral location, but the prospect of netting a few actual troublemakers is a tempting one.

And please let me know what you determine about the O'Connor woman.

Re: Private message to Barty Crouch, Jr and Lucius Malfoy

[alt_crouch_jr]

Excellent idea.

Send them to Truncheon. Special delivery.

The sorting shouldn't be difficult and what we might catch could be worth the effort.

Re: Private message to Barty Crouch, Jr and Lucius Malfoy

[alt_selwyn]

Truncheon it is, then.

Order Only

[alt_sirius]

You know that discussion we had today about making portkeys for all the juniors?

We might want to put a rush on that, if they're mucking with the security on creating new ones.

Re: Order Only

[alt_bill]

I've just offered my services to Selwyn for whatever assistance he requires; maybe I can find out what the hell is going on.

All sorts of rumours are flying.

Re: Order Only

[alt_alice]

Thank you, Bill.

Let us know as soon as the rumours start solidifying more. We'll hold off on any portkey use or making new ones for the time being.

Hermione or Terry, if you could pass word to Neville and Evelyn. It's not urgent they know right this minute, but whenever you can manage.

Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_bill]

Some trouble going on with the network? What's the nature of the difficulty?

Do you need assistance in any way? I can escort my Mum to the hotel where my brother's waiting (she's about all done in anyway) and I can be back to fill in any way you find necessary?

Re: Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_selwyn]

Bill, you're a lifesaver.

Yes. The portkey network's gone all to hell. This isn't even part of my department, but it landed in my lap anyway, in part because we don't know whether the woman who runs Magical Transportation was incompetent or if this was passive-aggressive sabotage -- there was some arithmantical work her office was supposed to take care of and they bloody well didn't. So if your portkey was supposed to take you to Devon, it might take you to Berkshire. Or the top of Ben Nevis. Or the middle of Loch Ness. You see the difficulty.

We're re-issuing portkeys as fast as we can right now AND MY DAUGHTER'S GONE MISSING just to put the -- well.

Yes. I'm down by the cloakroom. If you think you can come down -- we're trying to register them as we go, and that's slowing us down.

Re: Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_bill]

Good grief. Yes, I'll handle anything you want; you take care of finding your daughter, absolutely. I'm already back from the hotel; I'll be right down. I assume you are already working on a trace?

Once you've found her, let me know of anything else you hear about the portkeys, or at least what I can say to people asking questions? There may be inquiries from the press.

Re: Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_selwyn]

She's turned up, thank goodness.

In the meantime -- don't talk to the press, for Merlin's sake. Just get down here.

Re: Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_selwyn]

Do you think you could take the floo to Hogsmeade and go hunt down Septima Vector for me?

Wake her up, if you have to.

Re: Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_bill]

Will do. On my way.

Re: Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_bill]

Found Vector. She's definitely groggy (she was in bed asleep) but is returning to New London with me. I'm waiting while she's getting dressed, and...where should I bring her back?

I'm very glad to hear that Arista's been found safely.

Re: Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_selwyn]

Ministry. Magical Transportation office. We need her to do some calculations to reset the old portkeys. I'll meet you there.

Re: Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_selwyn]

And thank you, Bill. You shouldn't have to be working right now, but I really, really appreciate this.