Portkeys

[alt_selwyn]

For your safety and security, all portkeys will need to be turned in for inspection. If you are presently at the Faire, a new one will promptly be issued -- or, if you can take the floo home or apparate, the Department of Magical Transportation will be offering a voucher good for Γ3 of the food or drink of your choice as an apology for the inconvenience.

In the meantime, please keep all portkeys out of the hands of your younger children. The only people carrying portkeys should also be carrying wands. There may be some further announcements tomorrow; if you are currently at home, please do not attempt to use your portkeys (even Ministry-issued portkeys) to travel.

Thank you for your prompt attention.

Comments

Private message to Moira O'Connor

[alt_selwyn]

Whether this was the result of incompetence or disloyalty on your part will likely be determined by MLE, but let me assure you that I will personally exact retribution for any injuries that result from this mess from your skin even if I have to visit you in Azkaban to flay you while you're held by Dementors.

Private message to Solana James

[alt_selwyn]

I gather you're the one tasked with the scramble to replace the malfunctioning portkeys. Thanks so much for dropping everything to do this; I don't blame you, of course. It was Director O'Connor's responsibility to see to this -- or at least to communicate with the rest of you.

Let me assure you that outstanding performance under such extreme circumstances will be remembered, and rewarded. I know it's rather a lot to ask, but it has struck me that this disaster may be an excellent opportunity to take steps to reel in the many unregistered portkeys in circulation. Please ensure that your staff registers the new ones as they're handed out, and rather than fixing the current problem so that every existing portkey directs to its original destination, I'm thinking we may simply want to direct them all to a single, safe location. For now, just focus on making the new (registered) ones, please.

Private message to Barty Crouch, Jr and Lucius Malfoy

[alt_selwyn]

Barty -- as Lucius already knows, apparently portkey coordinates all got hopelessly scrambled by the work Tosha did last week. (I told that miserable woman personally what needed to be done; I don't know whether she's lazy, incompetent, or quietly disloyal. She is, in fact, an O'Connor -- though not closely related to Kathleen. Nonetheless. Irish.)

It's being handled. But. I had an idea. We've discussed a few times the problem of unregistered portkeys -- there are quite a few, they're a security risk, etc. Apparently it would be quite a lot easier to redirect all existing portkeys to a single location than to properly fix them. What do you say to the idea of directing them all to some secure location at MLE's HQ?

Naturally, new (registered!) portkeys would be issued for all legitimate purposes.

This would be more than a little inconvenient for you; it would flood your net with plankton, I think, for the most part. You'd have to sort through them all. Still -- thoughts? We could also just direct everyone to some safe and neutral location, but the prospect of netting a few actual troublemakers is a tempting one.

And please let me know what you determine about the O'Connor woman.

Order Only

[alt_sirius]

You know that discussion we had today about making portkeys for all the juniors?

We might want to put a rush on that, if they're mucking with the security on creating new ones.

Private message to Dominic Selwyn

[alt_bill]

Some trouble going on with the network? What's the nature of the difficulty?

Do you need assistance in any way? I can escort my Mum to the hotel where my brother's waiting (she's about all done in anyway) and I can be back to fill in any way you find necessary?